Discover a delightful collection of Confucius quotes funny, blending ancient wisdom with humor. Explore timeless sayings that will bring joy and laughter to your day. Embrace the wisdom of Confucius with a touch of humor in these thought-provoking and amusing quotes.
Explore Confucius Quotes Funny
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- Confucius say, “Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.”
- Don’t trust atoms; they make up everything.
- Confucius say, “Man who run in front of car get tired, but man who run behind car get exhausted.”
- He who laughs last probably didn’t understand the joke in the first place.
- Confucius say, “Man who drop watch in toilet have crappy time.”
- It takes skill to make a balloon animal, but talent to make balloon animal in the shape of a giraffe.
- Confucius say, “Man who eats too many prunes may run for the bathroom, but will be fruitful in the end.”
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- Confucius say, “Man who fart in church sit in own pew.”
- Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.
- Confucius say, “Man who stand on street corner with hads in pockets feel foolish, but man who has pockets in pants feels nuts.”
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands and fingers.
- Confucius say, “Man who steal an insect probably got a bug.”
- If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
- Confucius say, “Man who tells a secret may be revealing more than he thinks.”
- The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Confucius say, “Man who walks through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.”
- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
- Confucius say, “Man who go to bed with an itchy butt wake up with a smelly finger.”
- Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.
- Confucius say, “Man who sits on tack gets point.”
- Life is like a bicycle, to keep your balance, you must keep moving.
- Confucius say, “Man who stands on paper to be high on current news.”
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Confucius say, “Man who breaks wind in church sits in own pew.”
- Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
- Confucius say, “Man who sneezes without a tissue takes matters into his own hands.”
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
- Confucius say, “Man who drops watch in blender has too much time on hands.”
- I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.
- Confucius say, “Man who falls in mud makes a splashy entrance.”
- I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
- Confucius say, “Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.”
- I asked my dog what’s his favorite type of music. He said “Bark and Roll.”
- Confucius say, “Man who forgets to zip up fly is in for a rude awakening.”
- Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- Confucius say, “Man who speaks with a forked tongue should not kiss.”
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands and fingers.
- Confucius say, “Man who runs in front of car gets tired. Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.”
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Confucius say, “Man who eats dynamite gets a bang out of it.”
- I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
- Confucius say, “Man who steals a calendar gets twelve months.”
- I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.
- Confucius say, “Man who jumps off a cliff jumps to a conclusion.”
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
- Confucius say, “Man who plays hide and seek with a nosy neighbor should not be surprised if he’s found.”
- I asked my dog what’s his favorite type of music. He said “Bark and Roll.”
- Confucius say, “Man who forgets to zip up fly is in for a rude awakening.”
- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
- Confucius say, “Man who runs in front of car gets tired. Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.”
- Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
- Confucius say, “Man who eats dynamite gets a bang out of it.”
- Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- Confucius say, “Man who steals a calendar gets twelve months.”
- I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.
- Confucius say, “Man who jumps off a cliff jumps to a conclusion.”
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Confucius say, “Man who plays hide and seek with a nosy neighbor should not be surprised if he’s found.”
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
- Confucius say, “Man who forgets to zip up fly is in for a rude awakening.”
- I asked my dog what’s his favorite type of music. He said “Bark and Roll.”
- Confucius say, “Man who speaks with a forked tongue should not kiss.”
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands and fingers.
- Confucius say, “Man who runs in front of car gets tired. Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.”
- I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me vacation ads.
- Confucius say, “Man who steals a calendar gets twelve months.”
- I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.
- Confucius say, “Man who jumps off a cliff jumps to a conclusion.”
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
- Confucius say, “Man who plays hide and seek with a nosy neighbor should not be surprised if he’s found.”
- I asked my dog what’s his favorite type of music. He said “Bark and Roll.”
- Confucius say, “Man who forgets to zip up fly is in for a rude awakening.”
- Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- Confucius say, “Man who speaks with a forked tongue should not kiss.”
- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
- Confucius say, “Man who runs in front of car gets tired Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.”
- Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
- Confucius say, “Man who eats dynamite gets a bang out of it.”
- Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes.